Rise From The Meltdown With Attitude

Sydney Morning Herald

Thursday December 4, 2008

Words Jeannine Stein

When a major disaster happens in life - like losing all your belongings, being sacked or a key relationship ending - it's hard to tell who will bounce back and who will fall in a heap.

"There is no one factor that will predict who's going to do well and who's not," says Demy Kamboukos, a research scientist at New York's Institute For Trauma And Resilience. "It's really a combination of genetic predispositions and interactions with family and community."

Undoubtedly, problem-solving skills are important. These are especially useful during times of crisis, when decisive action is needed.

Similarly, being expressive and outgoing makes for an easier time after a disaster, says psychologist Karin Hart. Those traits can make a person more likely to ask for help. Part of dealing with tragedy is being able to talk about it and express emotions such as grief, anger and fear.

"Having connections and good relationships is so crucial in recovering from trauma," Hart says. "It's really important to get help from people who care about you and are willing to listen. It's invaluable."

Not all traits that make people more resilient are innate. Many - such as adapting to change - can be learned, says psychologist Jana Martin. Thinking about how past upheavals, even small ones, were lived through can help people get through major turmoils.

However, having experienced several major traumas can make some people less resilient. So can having a personal or family history of psychiatric illness, severe family dysfunction, family health problems and socioeconomic or intellectual difficulties.

Still, much of what factors into being resilient boils down to attitude - whether people see themselves as victim or survivor and whether they perceive their circumstances as insurmountable or manageable. Taking small steps and setting manageable goals are ways of feeling in control.

Perhaps the most important inborn trait is being even-tempered. "Some kids are just born with an easy temperament," Kamboukos says, "and are able to adjust more easily to change and disruption."

© 2008 Sydney Morning Herald

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